Monday, 28 March 2011


This morning started with another early morning trip to the hospital to check on Violet's pressure sore. On arrival the nurse we were supposed to see in Rehab was away sick. So they arranged for another nurse to check on Violet.

I told her I really want them to debride it today as it is now 2 weeks and it hasn't done this the natural way through the use of the gels and gel impregnated dressings. She agreed something else needed to be done and paged the orthopaedic surgeon.

He also agreed it needed debriding. So, they sedated Violet with Midazolam and gave nitrous oxide. Poor Emily was with me in the room as I thought this was only going to be a quick dressing change, so she helped console Violet during the whole process.

During this time, I heard the surgeon say to the nurse it is much much deeper than he had anticipated and "this is not good at all". I chose not to look at it.

He said after finishing that "he had failed us" and that "as they have caused this".

We have to go to the burns unit daily to get her dressings changed from tomorrow.

He told me once her sore heals that she will be left with a large indentation and would lose alot of feeling to that part of her foot.

In other news:

I didn't let Violet go to school today based on Fridays episode. I organised an appointment with the prinicipal of the school today. My friend kindly offered to look after Violet so I could do this.

Well, his answer to the toileting incident on Friday was to finally bring out a communication book with a toileting roster in it, where the teachers aide will have to write down what times she takes Violet. I also asked her to write down how long the hoisting process takes, as she is taking far too long and I think this is having a huge impact on Violet.

He then basically moved on as if that was all there was to say about it. I brought it up again, that they had a duty of care and failed and they had denied Violet of her basic human rights. He did not agree. He said all children have accidents. I said Violet is depending on an adult (her aide) to toilet her and she had never done this in all the years of being toilet trained. The fact it went unnoticed was a whole other issue.

He claims, I have told him that I want the aide gone because she is pretty and wears nice clothes...complete lies! I have told him that wearing the shoes that she has been wearing and short skirts are not practical when hoisting and being an aide for a child with special needs.

He claims, all the staff feel threatened by me. This I don't understand. I have never been threatening in any way.

He claims, I have called all his staff liars. I only said Violet's teacher was lying about taking her out of the wheelchair in the classroom week before last as Violet had told me she had 2 teenager girls that were in the classroom doing reading group had helped take her out too. Her teacher claims she only took her out. Hard to believe when Violet weighs 26kg's and I have enough trouble lifting her AND Violet told me who took her out. She is to remain in her wheelchair all day until further notice from the hospital as they well know.

He claims, I have threatened him. I asked him in what way and he said that I have told him I would go over his head if need be.

Well of course I will write letters etc if the school will not listen to me and give Violet the care she needs and deserves.

I told him if he thinks I said all those things etc then we would have to start voice recording our appointments as I did not agree with him on any of his claims. He said he already was writing it all down today. I said you haven't asked for my permission to do that, which he answered with, you are in my office so I can do that anyway.

There is one thing I can not stand and that is people using bits and pieces I have said and using them out of context.

He even said that Violet would probably have another toileting accident as most children do.

He said the staff were all scared of me and that I need to build a bridge and meet them half way. Also making sure I greet all the staff when at school.

The aide does not apparently have to acknowledge Violet as they all say good morning as a class.

Apparently, the aide is just a teachers aide, not special needs teachers aide.

So, now I don't know what to do. I was in tears after all those accusations came out about what he claims I said.

I even had a call while at hospital this morning saying that the aide was not able to come in today and that Violet was still allowed to come to school but they would need me to do the toileting.

She will not be attending school for the rest of this week anyway due to her dressings she needs and the meds to do these.

I think looking at a new school and maybe a private school is the next step.


Alison said...

Oh Sarah - that sounds like the worst day ever.

I'm so sorry to hear about how bad Violet's foot has become. It sounds like you will be in good hands with the burns clinic though. Will keep praying for her recovery.

As for the school - what a horrible meeting. There is nothing worse than feeling like people have completely twisted your words. I think looking at other options sounds like the right thing to do.

Thinking of you all - please let me know if there is anything I can do to help in any way.


Melissa and Luke Young said...

Disgracefull.... I am totally lost for words!! He doesnt sound like he is working with you at all towards a positive solution for Violet whilst she is at school.. I can understand how hard it would be to sit in a meeting and he has twisted your words.. but if I was you, I would take this higher. Violet deserves human decency and she is not getting that. Sending you big hugs x

Belinda said...

Sarah, what a day!

I think your school will unfortunately not change it's disgusting attitude. The principal sounds like a real a**ehole, and they are just trying to keep themselves out of trouble.

Have everything journelled yourself. This needs to go to the head of your Education Dept.

I feel so helpless. Sending you much love. Xx

The Henrys said...

Sarah, he is just trying to beat you down and make you feel at fault so he won't get in trouble! You haven't done anything wrong! You have been more than patient and willing to work with them. I think looking into other options is a good idea. Let us know what you find.
Sorry to hear about her foot. That must be awful for her. Let us know how the healing goes!

Michelle said...

Oh goodness. I have been keeping up with your story for the last few weeks and I just cry for the two of you. It's too bad we're a half a world away - I can recommend a really nice little town in Southwest Virginia where when I once mentioned that I thought Owen might not be safe because of another child in the room and the Principal called a meeting the next day with 7 people and a plan was made within hours and the issue has been more than addressed. I deeply hope that you will find the same loving environment for Violet. You are a great Mom and you have two really wonderful girls!

Big brother, Little sister. said...


I agree kids have accidents but they get cleaned up and respected....ouch about the sore too.
I honestly think it is time to find a new school, the funding should follow her and seriously that Principal needs some tact and manners for that matter. xo much love to you xo

Mazzmerise said...

OMG how can the school turn it all around on you, if this aide is wearing inappropriate attire its not about Beauty GRRRRR. hope you can get real answers and I to would go over his head I would also record all meeting for your own benefit so they can stop accusing you of slander ♥ and this is your right to want the best care for your child

Hope Violets foot starts healing soon I feel so sad to hear she is in so much pain ♥ little munchkin is so strong ♥

Becca said...

Urgh, typical school behaviour - I'm so sorry.

See how many of this headteacher's phrases you can find in Derailing for Dummies - it should help a little, maybe.

Violet deserves so much better than this.

Jacqui said...

Our school journey hasn't always been smooth but yours is far worse. I honestly think you need to find another school. There are too many years to go in a place where Violet is not made to feel welcome. I wouldn't try and force it any further. It's time to look for another school (if possible) and to tell head office exactly why.

April said...

Oh I am so sorry this is happening to you...:( I wish there was something I could do.
hang in there.

ferfischer said...

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. This sounds just awful. Thinking of you!

Korin said...

My thoughts on the school....all a bunch of A-HOLES!!!

As for poor Violet and her foot
UN-FRIGGIN-BELIEVABLE! Good Luck and I really hope the burn unit will help!

Josephine said...

I would say there has been way too much of the horrible and not enough of the good from that school. Not even enough of the "barely acceptable" from them. Ridiculous. Good luck figuring out what to do next....