Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Being Different...

I always knew the day would come when Violet would realise she was different to other kids, but I really didn't expect it to happen at 3 years old.

For the past few months while I brush Violet's teeth she has started staring at herself in the mirror like she is examining her face, but even though I thought she was noticing differences I never said anything of course.

Then the other day, Violet said to me "Mummy, Violet look funny". I said "no you don't, you are a beautiful girl" she then repeated it again to me "Mummy, Violet look funny". So this time I said to her "What do you mean?". She then said to me "Eye look funny, face look funny". So I just reassured her again that she was a beautiful girl and we love her very much.

So the psychological effects of her eye condition and her vascular malformations are now coming into our lives. Then we still have the cerebral palsy difference to throw in aswell.

It is not going to be easy when she starts pre-school/school...people can talk until they are blue in the face about how kids are really quite good and just inquisitive but we have had first hand experience at Violet being teased when only picking up her sister from school. Everything from kids mimicking her small eye to kids not wanting to go near her because she looks different. Not to mention at the Teddy Bear's Picnic last year, a girl tried to poke Violet in her good eye with the plastic stick on a balloon on purpose while walking past her, luckily I grabbed it in time.

I just wish that she didn't have to start worrying about this at such a young age.


Karen said...

Hugs to you and hugs to Violet. Everyone has something that makes them different, not that it makes it any easier.

Violet's buddy Henry sends a hug.

Josephine said...

This makes me sad. She is beautiful - but I know kids can be so mean. When Avery was first diagnosed I remember my husband saying something about how he'd hate to get in trouble for beating up a ten year old, but he could imagine almost wanting to if any kid ever made fun of Avery for being different!

suealeen said...

hi... i'm a loyal reader from malaysia. i've a hydrochepalic daughter too.

i agree with josephine that kids can be so mean. i believe that they're not intended to be that way but kids are always be kids! their mind are simple with less sensitivity towards others.

Laura said...

Oh, I'm so sorry that Violet (and you) are going through this. Children can be cruel, you are right there. I guess the most important thing that we can do for our kids is to love them and give them a very healthy dose of self-esteem. You know what I've noticed though, that kids will pick on kids regardless of the severity of their "differentness". I am hearing impaired and while I look no different than most people, I was teased incessantly growing up. If you were the wrong shoes these days, you can get picked on. I think too, that teaching kids to defend & stick up for themselves is crucial.
You are doing the right thing, telling Violet that she is beautiful and that she is very loved. That's the best that you can do right now--just love, love, love--and teach her to love others.

Big hugs to you both!

Jen said...


I think as parents we know that life is hard enough as it is but to have the heartache of having added disabilities to our beautiful children is both frightening and heartbreaking as we know that their differences and disabilities will at times be hightlighted, be picked on, be made fun of....

I guess as parents, like we would for our other children, we have to teach them to be strong, teach them to use their words, help develop and foster a strong self image and self esteem and their belief that they can and will achieve anything they set there minds to...we just have to give them the skills to deal with kids who dont know better, to deal with ignorant parents or people and educate those around us.

It is a momentous task, an emotional one but it is the only way that we can help our little ones get through it....last resort...hopefully a brother or sister to bop the little so and so who dare pick on them!!!!!! (wink wink...lol)

Hugs to the very beautiful and very astute young Violent-obviously wise beyond her years