Monday, 12 May 2008

The Kindness of Strangers?

In February, I was waiting for my mum at the Train Station and I noticed a guy walking past staring at Violet. He then approached me and asked "what was wrong with her face". I just can't be bothered explaining in detail about Violet anymore as she is too complex, so I simply said "she was born like that".

He then said "I deserved to have a child like Violet and that I was being punished for my past sins and also my continued non belief in God". I could not believe my own ears....I then said to him that "he can not assume I don't believe in God, he has made a statement and he does not even know me" I also told him "I would not want to know a God that wished illness upon any human, adult or child".

By the time my mum arrived I was in tears and shaking.

This certainly is not the first time I have been asked what is wrong with Violet, but defiantely the most hurtful so far.

Besides the numerous stares and I mean long obvious stares not a quick glimpse......frequently I get asked what is wrong with her and whether she has been burnt is the most asked question I have had to date.

Why is it so many people stare and speak before thinking when someone is different ?


Catherina said...

I understand because I have a 4 year old son who has PHPV in his left eye and microphtalmia in the same eye. I remember when he didn't wear a painted shell in public, people would come up to ask what was wrong with his eye. Some would stare and give me dirty looks. Some would stare and then whisper to their friends/family next to them.

Now my son wears a painted shell all of the time and the stares and questions decreased. But there are still people who stare just because he wears glasses.

I am still bothered a lot by it. I wonder why people don't have better things to do than to stare down at little innocent kids like that.

I pray that you continue to find strength in raising Violet. I enjoy reading your blog a lot. Happy Mother's Day to one exceptional mother!

Shannon said...

Oh Sarah. :( I’m so very sorry you had to be involved in that disgusting display of human ignorance. Please know that Violet is a wonderful, amazing and very beautiful little girl. Thinking of you.


Lisa said...

Hi. I just came across your blog. I too have a daughter with hydrocephalus (among other things). I am sorry to hear that you were treated poorly by that man. I am sure she is such a little blessing!
With my daughter, Elisabeth, I have found that people don't usually say anything about her. I think they are unsure about what the shunt is and think it better not to mention anything at all.
Take care.

Josephine said...

What people who don't have "special" children don't realise is what a huge blessing these precious babies are to their parents. How could he call your beautiful girl a punishment for your past sins when I am sure she has brought you nothing but joy?? That's how I feel about my little girl anyway - she's definitely a blessing in my life.